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Today’s random wander through the wonderful world of Wikipedia arrived at 787.

We were actually looking for Harshad numbers and alighted on 787 which led – in a beautiful moment of antidisambiguation – to the Boeing 787.

This is an early design configuration for the 787;

Wow, shiny, sleek and sexy – I want one.

Now here’s one they made earlier;

In what appears to be a 737 on Berocca, is this not just another example of the reality not quite living up the expectation?

If I had just shelled out $193m, I would probably want something a little more visually amazing than a bit of blue and the model number in really big letters.  “Can you read the numbers on that plane from 20 metres away?…congratulations Mr Pilot, you can fly it”.

I would be even more disappointed given that anyone can go onto the Boeing website and design their own 787.   Have a go – it’s great fun and judging by the more than 7,000 submissions to date, rather addictive too.  Looking at some of them – a small selection is shown below – you have to admit that they do jazz up the visual appearance.

Talking of aviation, we notice that Easyjet is to start allowing its livestock the opportunity to allocate seats.  Apparently the uncontrolled dash for the steps isn’t fair on fat people (does that actually narrow down their audience that much?) as they are dropping their chips, so you can now part with a few extra quid in order to have the pleasure of allocating yourself a seat.  Presumably, if the flight isn’t full you will be able to pay a few quid extra and allocate yourself the seats all around you, thereby avoiding the smell of Lynx and overspill of Kappa trackpant-clad gut from the pramface in the seat next to you?  Although of course they will now be able to log on themselves and allocate two seats for their voluminous arses.

The alternative  is to stay at home and sample of the many, many exciting places that are offering 20.12% off this Summer.  See, we’ve already won a medal, in the ‘Milking 2012 For All Its Worth In An Effort To Try And Recoup The Billions We’ve Spunked Up On The Games” award.   One imagines that 20.12% was the most creative application of the numbers, after having discounted such calls to action as;

Come to Britain and watch us win 2.012 medals this summer!

London 2012 – the games of the people, well 2,012 of them anyway.

201.2 minutes – the average waiting time on the Jubilee line during the Olympics.

The length of time – in milliseconds – before you are completely sick of the ignorant auxesis of Olympics commentators and decide to turn it off and go do something more interesting, such as reconfigure your sock drawer or scratch your nuts.

According to the Government, the campaign will create 12,000 jobs and bring in £480million in extra spending over three years.  What, you mean you’re banking on them coming back next year and the one after that?  Crickey, there will be no petrol left by Friday afternoon, so how on earth do you think the country will still be working in September 2014?

As an idea, surely creating a new version of the Hunger Games would have been a better money-spinner:

For just £5,000 entry fee, we will give you a bow & arrow and the licence to hunt these creatures;

Now, if just 12,000 people entered this competition the government would raise £60m, as well as eradicate Bellend and Mucous Membrane – those facile aberrations that sum up so succinctly everything that is wrong with this country.